You may or may not have stumbled across this post due to the title. A title that may have drawn your attention, a title that you could relate to, a title that might be the one thing you have been asking for, that much needed comfort and assurance that everything is going to be ok. Because you know that you do not feel ok. You feel scared. You feel sad. You feel lonely. You feel worried. You feel frustrated. I know. I know how it feels. And if there is only one thing you can take from this post that is addressed to you, then please know that you are not alone.
There is someone out there also reading this post experiencing the same sorts of feelings you are. There is someone out there who is feeling like giving up or just needed an escape from whatever it is that is going on in their lives. There is someone out there who will be wanting help or even just some comfort. There is someone out there who also looks a lot like me, who is also suffering the same way you are and most of the time also needs to know that I am not alone.
When you first start to experience any form of mental health issue in particular it can feel so scary and very isolating. But it doesn't have to be this way nor does it mean that you are alone. You are not fighting this battle alone even if it may seem like you are inside. Sure it's personal to you and essentially it operates within you, but there is so many of us also fighting the same battle. You are not alone. You will never be alone. We're all here right with you fighting on. It's not just your battle. It's our battle.
None of it will be easy. Nothing is in life. Especially those greater moments. They do not come to us with ease. Instead they take a lot of time, effort, determination and hard work to get to where we want to be, even if we do fail and trip up a few times along the way. We always get there because it won't kill you. Even if it feels like it possibly might and that you won't survive, you will. I know it. I know you will survive. I've never been more sure of anything and that's also coming from the person who has been in that situation too many times.
Because I know that belief can take you far. Believing in yourself can drive yourself to recovery and finding your feet again in the world if you feel so very lost. With that sheer determination to be and do better, belief will work with you to help move you towards where you really want to be, even if that path may seem a little bumpy and unclear, it will pathe way for the magical moments that will come.
Time will be your biggest friend along the way. It will help you more than you will ever know. Time will heal any pain. It doesn't have to be the enemy. Time gives you the chance to be able to achieve what it is you want to and work on yourself. When you put your energy into taking care of you and giving yourself all the love that you possibly can, that alongside everything else you are doing you will begin to see the biggest difference. And that is where time comes into the matter. It gives you this opportunity to start over, no matter how many times you have to. It gives you the space to give yourself you're all. To nurture yourself. To be kind to yourself. To give yourself so much love. To give yourself the chance to get better.
Things will start to get clearer. The more you learn about yourself and the way you work. Things will start to make more sense. You will find that you will know how to handle a bad day or how to handle a panic attack. You will know when something genuinely doesn't feel right or when it's just your anxiety trying to make you avoid something. You will know when you're being rational and when you're not. When you're thinking a particular way and a different way to challenge that style. You will realise when you're taking care of yourself and when you're not. You'll know when things start to improve when you take that pressure off and just let it be whatever the hell it is. Just let it be. Don't fight it. Just let yourself feel what it is you're feeling and allow it to pass. Because it will.
And when you feel that amazing high of achieving something, no matter how big or small it may possibly be, you know that you have done it and you reached where you wanted to be at that moment in time. You need to celebrate that. You need to give yourself so much love and be proud of what you have done. This will aid in your recovery and your own self care. Celebrating your own achievements will do you the world of good. And they will be important things to remember to help you through this journey.
Because one of the harsher things about suffering with a mental health condition is something I'm sure you can all relate to. It's that feeling of when things have been good for a while, whether that's a couple of days, perhaps a week or two or even a month, when they start to slip back again and you feel that massive weight back on your shoulders. It can feel like you're back to square one again. It can feel like a never ending cycle, that you'll never get better, that it's always going to be this way. But it's not. You are living proof that it always gets better and that nothing lasts forever. And you will get through it. I know you will. Because remember I have been in your shoes so many times before and it always gets better.
Give it time. And you'll see! Believe me. Believe you. It will get better.
The cycle of these days, of these moments of bad days, they will start to burn out. They will get less and less. They will get further and further apart the more you find out about yourself, give yourself the love and care you need, as well as all the other things you do to help yourself, those moments of desperation and hurt will be over with. You will gain back your control. You will get through it. You know you will. Believe you will. Believe it and you'll see it. Keep fighting on. Keep working on what you need to. Don't give up. Don't treat every set back as a failure. It's not. It's a learning curve. Every time you fall, you get back up and you try again.
Celebrate those achievements. Give yourself the love you'd give a loved one. Learn and learn some more. Be brave and have courage moving forward. Know that it might be uncomfortable, but it cannot kill you. It's ok to have bad days and moments. They pass. Just like the good do. You'll get through it and will watch the storm pass. Know that things do change. And time does heal. Be strong. Remain hopeful. Reach out for help and to people when you need to. Love with every bone in your body and make sure a lot of is directed towards you.
Most importantly, remember that it is ok. That we're all here right with you. That you're not alone in this. That things do get easier and better. That life can still be whatever the hell you want it to be. It does not have to stop just because you might be mentally unwell. Do not let it stop you. Because you are incredible and the whole world deserves to know that too.
Lauren x