I remember how worried I use to be when I would uploaded posts on my blog and also to start those conversations with bloggers on social media. But now I feel more confident and able to spark up a discussion with people online and put my blog out there. Talking in person with people face to face is something I struggle with massively. I've always been a shy person, but since having anxiety, I've developed social anxiety as well. It's mainly down to hating my own voice and not having any belief in my ideas in the sense that I fear people will judge me or think I'm being silly. Youtube (I hope) will give me that chance to work on being more confident with my voice and speaking my mind out loud. 

I want to get use to hearing my own voice and be comfortable with almost what feels like to me in my social anxiety mind exposing myself for the world to see. It's a massive step and a huge risk for me to put myself out there, but one I believe is going to be so beneficial in the long run. 

It's going to be an extension of my blog

Sometimes when I'm creating posts for my blog, I have this feeling like I wish I could show you how I'm testing a particular product or method, as well as wanting to explain things better and maybe more easier. My youtube channel is going to work as like an extension of my blog, sharing the same kinds of topics, but in more of a demonstration kind of way and with a lot more of my personality thrown into the mix. This obviously does not mean I'm going to neglect my blog. Trust me, I'm going to continue writing three posts a week whilst uploading on my channel, because I love writing so much and this blog is like my baby. So I can promise you it's going nowhere anytime soon. 

I want to find enjoyment

Life is all about trying new things and finding enjoyment. Starting a Youtube channel is something I want to find enjoyment from. As I said, when I filmed with Matt (my boyfriend) and also my first video, I just felt like it was so much fun even when I felt so uncomfortable and awkward, I still really loved it and after I stopped filming, I just wanted to film more and more. It's crazy how much of a buzz I got from it, it's similiar to the buzz I get after writing a good blog post and hitting that publish button. I also want to be able to learn some new skills and keep my learning side of my brain activity, since I've not been in education for a good couple of years now. I just want to have fun with the challenge and improve myself as a person, all whilst creating some (hopefully) enjoyable content. 

You can find my Youtube here and watch my first video here. I'd love if you would join me on this new adventure! 

Have you ever wanted to start Youtube?

Lauren x

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